09 October 2017

Review: Never The Bride by Charlotte Fallowfield

Never The Bride by Charlotte Fallowfield
(Dilbury Village #1)
Kindle Edition, 314 pages
Published February 28th, 2017 by Charlotte Fallowfield

Abbie Carter felt doomed as she clutched her bouquet and started walking up the aisle. Again. She felt like she was stuck in some kind of Groundhog Day wedding nightmare. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Eight dresses, most of them hideous, were already stuffed in her attic space. She had more bridesmaid dresses than relationships. Was she really that unlucky in love? She despaired of ever finding her soul mate and was convinced that if she packed away dress thirteen in her attic, she’d never get to wear the coveted white one and have her happy ever after.

That was until she locked eyes with one of the handsome ushers, whose wink turned her elegant and well-practiced glide up the aisle into a flailing Bambi-on-ice spectacle. Miller Davis was the first man in forever to make her heart skip a beat, as well as her legs turn to jelly. And, for once, her interest in a man didn’t seem to be one-sided. It was just a shame that the Atlantic Ocean separated them. Abbie couldn’t even make a relationship with her elderly fat pooch, Sumo, work, so what chance did she have with a permanent New Yorker? Her best friend, Georgie, told her to ignore the miles that separated her from Miller and to go for it, saying that true love knew no bounds.

Was Abbie fated to always be the bridesmaid, or would her wish for the perfect day with the man of her dreams ever come true?

While Never The Bride is a standalone story, it's the first in the Dilbury Village series of romantic comedy novels. All of them will be set in the quaint fictitious English hamlet in the Shropshire countryside, but feature a different village couples' story.

Warning, if you are of a sensitive disposition when it comes to toilet humour, then the Dilbury Village series may not be for you!

My thoughts…


Abbie Carter is a silly but sweet twenty-eight-year-old accountant and the mother of a grumpy gassy fur baby Sumo, and forever a bridesmaid… eight times, and she has the hideous bridesmaid dresses to help her keep count. Abbie has such a huge heart and is adored by her close friends but in the romance department it has been depressingly non-existent. In one of the weddings she is attending, a mishap arises due to her clumsiness, it’s then she catches the eye of the best man, a gorgeous man that can turn her into a gooey mess with just one look.

The best man is Miller Davis, an American from New York City. Miller has been alone all his life, after being abandoned by his family. He grew up with one goal, to make something big of himself and he's succeeded. Miller owns a huge software gaming company and is one of most desirable bachelors in New York. From the moment Miller sets eyes on Abbie wearing her monstrous bridesmaid dress he is completely smitten by her. The more he talks with her the more he wants to stay to get to know her, and Abbie feels the same about Miller. The problem is Abbie and Miller live in two different continents and it seems like timing is never on their side.

Sadly, Miller and Abbie spend a lot of time apart, since Miller needs to be back in New York to run his business. Abbie lives in the cottage her father left to her when he passed away. It is her last connection to her father and there’s no way she could ever imagine leaving it or the people she has come to love so dearly. This becomes road block for the couple because neither is willing to make a compromise. Abbie believes Miller doesn’t love her enough because he refuses to move to Dilbury and Miller with abandonment issues takes Abbie’s unwillingness to move as proof that she is not as into the relationship as he is. Throughout the book they continue to make ridiculous decisions, I just wanted to smack both their heads and tell them to quit acting like idiots.

Even though I was frustrated and annoyed with the characters behavior, I could get pass that. What I cannot get passed is the toilet humor, even though it clearly states in the synopsis that toiler humor is present, I felt this went beyond humorous and was just plain gross and disgusting. I can’t comprehend why the author felt the need to have the poor little bulldog Sumo terminally ill with bowel cancer, eventually passing… it just didn’t seem right for a romantic comedy.

I will not continue with the series, apparently the Dilbury Village toilet humor series is not for me.

Happy Reading -J 

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